Twas the nizzle before Christmizzle, when all through the hizzle

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mizzle; fo shizzle

The stocking caps were worn by the homies with care,

In hopes that St. Nizzle soon would be there;

The bitches and hoes were up all snug in their beds,

While visions of bling sparkled on their heads;

And mamma with her swag, and me in my cap,

Had just settled down for a long ass nizzle,

When out on the stoop some bitch came around,

I sprang from my crib, to knock this fool down.

Awizzle to the window I flew like the Flash,

Tore open this bullshit and threw out the trash.

The moon had her fine titties glistening on the snow

Damn son, now I gotta clean this up too yo,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appizzle,

But a tinyass sleigh, and eight tinyass reindizzles,

With a little old pimp, so lively and quick,

Woah wait, hold up one moment, is that St. Nick?!

Faster than shots in a bar his homies they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

“Yo, Dasher! Hey, Dancer! Damn, Prancer and Vixen!

Yo, come on, Comet, Cupid , Donder and Blitzen!

To the windows! to the walls!

Now run bitches! Run bitches! Goddamn y’all!”

But I heard him shout, fore he flew outta sizzle,

“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-nizzle.”

Fo shizzle.

Dear god.

(Source: fiveserpentsteeth)

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